tools for survival
1. The Ocean — floating on my back, stretching my arms above my head, listening to the distorted roar of the water, heaving itself onto the shore. I am reminding myself how to move, I am incanting affirmations*, moving my lips.
2. Music — something familiar and firm to rest my body against, familiar and relaxing like a hug, but also calibrating me to the temperature of my psyche. A happy ending is dancing until the body feels loose. Yes, I’m still obsessed with this.
3. Food — my current obsession is arroz con camarones y papas, essentially a shrimp fried rice served with a side of fresh cut french fries. My first tasting I was confused by the amount of carbs foods on the plate, but now I desire it daily, a comforting flavor and texture to my mouth. I like to zig zag ketchup on the fries and shake salt on it until I feel self-conscious.
4. Books — especially something about the spiritual, or self-help-y. Right now I'm reading a book about the Mayan Oracle, meant to help me remember and all of us to ascend.
5. Marijuana — I have learned to speak an intention, a prayer, a blessing. This works with all things, imbuing it with a hope and destiny.
6. Movement — Preference for dancing but anything that can get the heart pumping and blood recirculating.
7. The Sun -- Roasting like a cornish hen for a holiday dinner.
8. Ice Baths — Most Sundays I go into large basement-like laundry room, ducking underwear and bathing suits sagging on drying lines, and sit in large freezer filled with water. It’s chilled to 4º C, or about 39º F, and there is always a moment of dread, before I climb in, feeling the sharp stiffness take into my body.
6 minutes later, give or take, my body is shaking, but my energy is high and my brain is clear.
I know I'm going through a transition because all my famous tics are coming up, a reunion tour of neuroses. I can't sleep, and my dreams are journeys of trying to go somewhere but something or someone is impeding me in some way, slowing me down. Bed's too hard, pillow not fluffy enough.
Jaw locked, unbeknownst to me, shoulders creeping higher to my ears.
What are your talismans? Do you know your tools? Are they still effective?
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*e.g. How can I use this for expansion? I am not repeating a pattern, I am having a new experience.