5 Things:
I’m tired. Not so much physically, but energetically. But also physically.
I had a call with a potential agent who asked me if I was “ready to come back to the real world and make some money,” (imagine this said with Ari Gold’s enthusiasm) and it pissed me off so bad I haven’t recovered. That was Wednesday. I know I should stop ruminating, but I think that soundbite is doing a two-step with my inner anxiety about who I should be and how others view me, versus how I really am. gross gross gross.
I think it’s always nice to include photos, so here is an exchange between a friend, where we were both texting each other pictures of frogs we’ve recently seen*.
Today I started to tear up when I found a sloth in a tree. I was rollerskating by myself on a lil’ cement patio someone had painted to look like the beach shore, feeling overwhelmed and anxious for reasons that didn’t feel justified. “I’m having a hard time,” I told it. It appeared to be eating leaves in a tree.
I also tried to ask a gecko for advice. It too seemed unbothered by my human worries.
Bonus: I will be okay. I am just having a rough day, and thought I’d be honest. Please don’t try to cheer me up, it will probably only make me angrier.** But if you have it in you, do something weird over the next few days, like howling at the night sky, or running naked outside, or slowly wind your hips in a figure 8 in the grocery store line. More people being openly weird would make me feel better, even if I never get to witness it.
*No I didn’t ask her permission
**Sometimes when I feel vulnerable I get like an angry shelter dog bearing his teeth while secretly pining for love. Leave me be. Angry emotions are okay to feel.