I turn 40 in a week. I am writing this, because I don’t really know what that means, or how to feel about it. But it is happening.
To counteract a spiral, I wrote a version of this affirmation in my journal. If you are in need, i suggest reciting this, maybe while looking at yourself in a mirror, with a hand over your heart, breathing deeply, and letting it sink into your form:
I call forth the skills, wisdoms, habits, inclinations and being to solidify my highest self into material permanence*
I bring her/him/them into my wise auric field, my body, my blood, my being
I am her/him/them, she/he/they are me, and I untegrate this and all remaining wisdom into the eternal now, accessible as we
ascend
ascend
ascend
I desire to possess my power.
I possess my power.
I am so grateful for my loving relationship with myself, my sense of self-security, the awareness that I trust myself, and in turn, the universe.
I am a loved and cared for being.
I am grateful to have experienced growth, and take it with me into this new day.
I had the pleasure of spending a good amount of time with children these past few weeks, and especially delighted in seeing men nurture their children. My one friend’s 6-year-old is going through a high-pitched “DADDY” scream phase, which is as entertaining as it is unnerving. At one point, after this kid gorged himself on Halloween candy and consequently started to get sick, his father handed him what I guess was some sort of throat lozenge, to which the kid replied, “but daddy I don’t want this one, it’s not yummy.” It entertained me so much I wrote it in my phone.
I surprised myself with self-promotion this week, asking a skate friend** if she needed a dj for an event she’s throwing, as I am a DJ! I had sort of an out of body witnessing to this moment, impressing myself with my ability to own things I’m interested in, and attempting to share it, and risking the chance that someone may not like it, and that being okay. Maybe this is what it means to be 40? Here’s a reminder that I have a playlist on soundcloud of mixes I’ve made. I hope they move you in a pleasurable way.
*(until I must transform into my next me)
** yes I am back roller skating and it is delightful! I missed this medicine. There are no good rinks where I was in costa rica.
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